


The Healing Properties of Love

by Nikka001



Series: Buddie in Love [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Emotional Healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Law & Order: SVU, Jealous Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Reunions, Sexual Assault Survivor, Team as Family, admission of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27090790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikka001/pseuds/Nikka001
Summary: An old friend comes back into Buck's life and opens Eddie's eyes to what's been right in front of him this whole time.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Buddie in Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977217
Comments: 5
Kudos: 221





	The Healing Properties of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back, you guys! I know it's been a little bit since I posted the first part of this story but I'm very pleased that you all enjoyed it and I'm very excited for you to read the next adventure in these boys' lives. 
> 
> Now, being that this is a continuation of sorts for "The Sins of the Father", this story does involve some flashback scenes to moments referenced in the first story. That being said, if you haven't read the first part yet, then I highly encourage you to do so as it will make a lot more sense. I would also like to put a trigger warning here for brief mentions and descriptions of Rape/Sexual Assault. They aren't very graphic scenes, but I want you all to be comfortable reading this story. 
> 
> So, without further ado, I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> -Annika

* * *

**March 2015**

“Let’s just start from the beginning. Can you tell me your name?”

Taking a deep breath he tightens his grip on the fleece blanket he was given by EMS and pulls it tighter around his body, covering up the bruises and dried blood that covered his bare chest and arms. 

“Evan. Evan Buckley.”

The detective sitting across from him smiles kindly. “Hi Evan, my name’s Jude. Can you tell me what happened?”

“He did it again. He raped me again. I don’t even know how he found me.”

“Evan, who did it? Who raped you?” 

Tears welled up in Evan’s eyes but he squeezed them shut and willed himself not to cry. He can’t cry. He can’t let anyone see him cry. 

He feels a hand on his knee and when he looks up, Jude is crouched on the floor in front of him. “Listen to me, Evan. This wasn’t your fault, alright? None of this was your fault. But if you know who did this to you, then I need you to tell me.”

Evan breathes in deeply. “Richard Buckley. My father. He raped me.”

**May 2015**

Securing the lock on the office door, Evan spun around to face the other figure in the room.

“How the hell did he get released? Jude, you told me we had a case. You said that we had enough to put him away.”

Jude runs a hand through his hair out of frustration. “Yes, and at the time, we did. I wouldn’t have said that to you if I didn’t mean it.”

“Then what happened?”

“Someone came forward with an alibi for him. Said he was with them all night and into the next morning so there’s no way he could’ve done it. I’m sorry Evan.”

Evan gawks at the news of someone actually coming forward to vouch for that sick bastard. “An alibi? Who the hell would come forward with an alibi?”

Stepping forward, Jude grabs Evan’s hands in his. “Evan, it was your mom. She came in about 30 min ago and corroborated his story. According to her, they were at home all night and he never left.”

“She what?” Evan blanches at the news and loses his footing a bit when he tries to take a step back. “Why would she do that? She knows what he did to me. I know she knows! How could she--how could--how--”

He can’t take it anymore and falls into Jude’s arms, tears wracking his body, his sobs muffled in the fabric of Jude’s old Harvard hoodie. Holding back his own tears, Jude holds Evan close and lets him cry, knowing it’s all he can do for now. He’s been kicked off the case. He let himself get too close to Evan and now, all he can do is watch from afar while the man he’s grown to care for is being put through the wringer. None of these other detectives care enough about the case to really put in any effort and he hates it. He hates that he let himself get too close. He hates that he can’t do more to help Evan.

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

Jude pulls back and looks at Evan with wide eyes. “What?  
“Sorry. I just, I can’t go home. Not now that I know he’s out there again.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” Jude assures him and smiles. “Of course you can stay with me.”

Jude drives them back to his place later that evening where he proceeds to set Evan up in the guest bedroom. He lets him know that his bedroom is right across the hall if he needs anything and not to hesitate to ask. Evan thanks him and they say their goodnights as they both retreat into their respective rooms. 

The sound of Evan screaming and crying wakes him only hours later and soon, Jude is wrapping his arms around a terrified Evan and whispering calming words into his ears.

“Evan, it’s okay. He’s not here. It’s just me, alright? It’s me, Jude. I’m here. I’m here and you’re here. No one else. Just us.”

The cries start to die down but his breathing is still heavy and uneven. 

“I need you to breathe with me, Evan. I just need you to breathe with me. Just focus on breaths and only my breaths, alright? That’s it. You’re doing great.”

His breathing evens out and slowly, he leans back against Jude who has moved to sit behind him on the bed. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine. You’re okay now and that’s all that matters.”

Evan nods and soon feels his eyelids getting heavy. “Will you stay here with me?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

**December 2015**

“Are you sure we’re not forgetting anything?” Evan asks for the third time that evening as he pulls on the ugly sweater over his dress shirt. It’s bright red and covered with tacky glittered snowflakes while a snowglobe sits front and center. He fixes the collar of his shirt and when he gets no response to his question, he sticks his head around the corner to glare at his boyfriend who is waiting patiently by the front door. 

“You’re not gonna answer me are you?”

Jude smiles lovingly at his partner and when he speaks, there’s a hint of teasing in his words. “Nope. Not a chance.”

“Rude.” Evan leans back into the room to grab his jacket before joining Jude in the front hall.

“Finally ready then?”

Evan smiles and grabs Jude’s collar with one hand to pull him in and place a kiss on his lips. When he pulls away, he’s smiling even wider. “There. Now I’m ready.”

Jude returns the smile and moves to the front door. He reaches for the handle but doesn’t have a chance to grab a hold of it before the door is being kicked open and splinters of wood go flying as Jude and Evan drop down to the floor. When Evan looks up, his heart drops into the pit of his stomach and it feels as if the ground has given away beneath him. Standing where the door used to be, with an angry scowl on his face, is Richard Buckley in all his glory. His dark eyes move between Evan and Jude, seeming to connect the dots and his eyes seem to darken.

His gaze finally lands on Evan and all Evan wants to do is shrink away into nothingness. “You thought you could hide from me, didn’t you? You thought after all that you accused me of, I would just let you go? Not a chance.”

Richard steps further into the house until he’s standing directly above Evan. Even from his spot on the floor, Evan can smell the booze and it makes him sick to his stomach. It was always worse after he’d been drinking. 

He barely had time to think any more about it before Richard’s foot came down hard on his side, no doubt cracking a couple of ribs. Evan’s cry of pain was cut off when another blow landed, this time dislocating his right shoulder. He cried out once more, this time with tears streaming down his face. He tried to move to reach out to Jude but he could barely move an inch without pain shooting off in all different directions. The tears fell harder when he saw the way Jude was lying on the floor, not moving and too far away to touch. He cried out his name but it was no use. 

When he noticed Richard moving towards Jude he screamed his name as loud as he could. He kept screaming even as Richard smiled wickedly at him and stood towering over Jude’s body. Evan screamed as loud as he could but nothing happened. He cried out for help but no one came. 

Even as he laid there in the hours after Richard left, no one came. He was weak but he mustered up all the strength he could and managed to scoot across the floor and over to where Jude laid. He had woken up some time ago but after realizing what had transpired, he passed right back out, the shock too much for him to handle. So, doing his best to offer Jude some form of comfort and decency, Evan reached out and moved Jude’s clothes back into place. It wasn’t much, but it was all he could do for now. 

Then, with silent tears, he did the same for himself; pulling his pants back up onto his body, whimpering at the throbbing pain in his legs and the sticky unwelcome feeling of blood and other fluids trailing down his thighs. With all the strength he could muster, he managed to push himself up off the floor and propped himself up against the back of the couch. Having had his fair share of dislocated shoulders from high school football, he reached his arm up and behind his head until his fingertips touched his other shoulder and he felt the bones pop back into place. He knew he’d need to go to the hospital but he didn’t have time. Right now, he needed to get as far away from this place as he could.

He packed the little bit he had in the bedroom into a small duffle bag and when he hobbled back into the front hall, he decided that there was one more thing he could do for Jude. Pulling out his phone from his jacket pocket, he dialed 911 and gave them only instructions and informed them that the victim was a cop before hanging up and smashing his phone on the counter. It took everything in him to not sit down on the floor with Jude and stay with him until the ambulance got there, but he knew he had to go. For his safety, and for those he loved. Even if it meant he had to endure a little heartbreak in the meantime.

**Current 2020**

Eddie was doing his best to help Hen check the supplies in the back of the ambulance when he noticed a man wandering into the station. He glanced over at Hen who just shrugged and went back to what she was doing before. Curious, Eddie hands Hen the rolls of gauze he’d been holding, climbs out of the ambulance and approaches the unfamiliar man. 

“Hi, can I help you with something?”

The man looked startled when he turned around to find Eddie standing behind him but it quickly faded when he seemed to survey Eddie and deemed him a friend. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude but I’m looking for an old friend and I was told I could find him here. Evan Buckley?”

Eddie stiffened and he folded his arms across his chest. “And how do you know Buck exactly?”

“As I said, I’m an old friend. Jude Simmons, LA SVU.” Jude flashes his badge and credentials which Eddie eyes suspiciously but ultimately accepts. He gives Jude a once over, noticing the thick yet well-trimmed facial hair and the gnarly scar on the left side of his neck. It was long and jagged around the edges but looked to be at least a few years

old if Eddie had to guess. His eyes were chocolate brown and full of emotions as they now darted around the large space until they suddenly landed on something of interest. 

Eddie followed his gaze and found Buck on the receiving end standing up in the loft. Bobby stood next to him and had placed a hand on his shoulder when Buck had stopped mid-sentence. Eddie looked between the two and was startled when he watched as Buck hurried down the stairs and across the room only to launch himself into Jude’s arms. 

“It’s good to see you too Evan.” Jude laughs as he returns the gesture and wraps his arms around Buck. 

“Sorry sorry. I just, I can’t believe you’re actually here.” Buck apologizes when they separate. A smile spreads across his face and he laughs; a happy laugh, one that none of them have really heard in a while. It’s...comforting.

“Buck?”

Looking back over his shoulder, Buck notices that Bobby has followed him down the stairs and now was wearing a look very similar to the confused one that Eddie was wearing - although he’s sure Bobby has less violence written throughout his. 

“Right, sorry. Guys, this is Jude. He’s a detective and an old friend of mine. We haven’t spoken in a few months. I didn’t even know he was in town.” There’s something in the way Buck speaks about this guy that Eddie can’t shake. He knows there’s something more to it. There has to be. 

“Well Jude, it’s nice to meet you. Any friend of Buck’s is a friend of ours. Isn’t that right Eddie?” Bobby was now speaking directly to him and Eddie knew exactly why. He could practically see the jealousy radiating off of Eddie and it drove him nuts that their captain seemed to read him so well. Then again, he wasn’t exactly subtle with the feelings he had for Buck. It seemed though, that Buck was the only one who never noticed. 

Eddie gave Bobby a look but just clenched his jaw and put on a fake smile. “Yeah. What he said.”

Jude smiled at them both, more so at Bobby than Eddie, before turning back to Buck. “Listen, Evan, as much as I wish this was really a social call, it’s not. I know I didn’t say anything when we last talked but, I got transferred to LA SVU. Four months ago. I was sifting through paperwork a few days ago on a case I was working on when a file landed on my desk. I recognized your name immediately. Why didn’t you tell me he found you? You know I would’ve been here in a heartbeat.” 

“I know. And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. Not after what happened.”

Jude’s smile falters and his eyes drift to somewhere behind Buck as he subconsciously moves his hand to rub along the length of the scar on his neck. Buck takes notice and places a hand on top of Jude’s, pulling it away. Jude locks eyes with Buck and smiles sadly at him before raising his other hand to cup Buck's face to draw him in for a kiss. Buck doesn’t hesitate to kiss him back, lifting his other hand and placing it on Jude’s waist to pull him in closer. 

In that one instant, Eddie’s heart shattered into a million little pieces. He felt the crushing weight of heartbreak and the suffocating feeling of loss all at once. He sucked in a sharp breath and felt the tears welling up behind his eyes but held them back. This wasn’t the time nor the place. Glancing away from the sight, he locks eyes with Bobby who no doubt knows exactly what is running through Eddie’s mind at that moment. Bobby gives him a look that confirms his suspicions but before Eddie has a chance to do anything, a laugh breaks through the silence. 

Buck is pulling away laughing, a small laugh, almost like a giggle, as he takes a step back and ducks his head down, a slight flush creeping its way up his neck. 

“Wow. Um, that uh-that wasn’t supposed to happen. Sorry.”

Jude smiles at him and drops his hand from Buck’s face. “That’s okay. We both know it doesn’t really mean anything.”

“It doesn’t?” Buck teases, his lips quirking up at one side.

“Evan, I didn’t come here to start back up what we had. I came here because even though I can’t work on your case, I wanted to make sure you know that if you want me--if you need me to be here for you, I will be. I will stand with you through it all. Just say the word.” His eyes are hopeful as he speaks, almost like he’s waiting for Buck to say yes. To tell him to stay and tell him that he still needs him. 

Buck takes a quick look around at his team, his eyes lingering a few seconds longer on Eddie who manages to plaster on a reassuring and comforting smile for his best friend.

A warm smile in return helps heal a little of Eddie’s broken heart so he nods at Buck telling him to go ahead. 

Taking a deep breath, Buck looks back into Jude’s eyes, his eyes reflecting the sadness in Bucks. “I love you. You know I love you. But I think I’m gonna be okay. Besides, I’ve got the best support system a guy could ask for.”

He glances at Eddie and smiles. 

Jude smirks at the blush disappearing under the collar of Eddie’s uniform while Eddie avoids eye contact with anyone. “Support system, huh? I’m guessing then that this is the best friend that you were constantly messaging me about?”

Buck instantly flushes and tries to backtrack but Jude keeps going. “You know Evan, I think you were wrong in your last message. He’s way cuter than you said.”

Eddie tries not to focus on what Jude just said, instead he focuses on the way Buck is staring at him now; like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide and mouth gaping as he attempts to sputter out some sort of response. Jude’s smirk grows while Bobby, Hen, and Chim watch on, all trying to hold back their laughter at the current predicament Buck seems to have landed himself in. 

“Well then, I think it’s best if I get going. Looks like I’ve caused enough trouble for today.” Jude pulls Buck into a hug which halts his frantic behavior for a short while for them to say their goodbyes. “It was good to see you, Evan. Please, let me know if you need anything. And it was very nice to meet all of you.” 

He waves goodbye to the rest of the team and sends Eddie a wink before exiting the same way he came.

Hen was the first to break the uncomfortable silence. “So, that was an interesting turn of events.”

“Yeah. It was,” Eddie says, still not taking his eyes off Buck, “would you guys mind giving us a few minutes? I think Buck and I need to talk.” 

At the mention of his name, Buck looks up, a frantic look in his eyes while Hen, Chimney, and Bobby all shuffle off back upstairs and into the loft, Chimney muttering something about missing the best part and earning a smack on the arm from Hen.

Once he’s sure they’re all back upstairs, even though he knows full well they’re all still peering over the balcony, Eddie takes a few steps towards Buck, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest. Buck is watching him, throat bobbing and a flush creeping its way up his neck and onto his cheeks. Neither of them says a thing as Eddie gets closer and closer to his partner until eventually, they’re standing only inches apart. He notices the way Buck’s eyes glance down at his lips before jumping back up to his eyes and can’t stop the smirk forming on his lips.

“So, you think I’m cute huh?” Eddie teases, his smirk growing into a full-blown grin at the way Buck blanches and stutters to find the right words.

“Well, I mean-you are-that is to say-I just-and you-I don’t-”

He’s rescued from further embarrassment when Eddie grabs him by the waist and pulls him in, lips crashing against Buck’s and cutting off whatever else he was going to say. Buck is frozen for longer than he’d like and Eddie fears he misread the situation. That is until Buck seems to come to his senses and starts kissing Eddie back, his hands coming up to tug on Eddie’s shirt and pull him even closer. Eddie smiles into the kiss and when he finally breaks away, Buck is smiling too, his eyes shining brightly.

Eddie laughs at the dopey look on Buck’s face which he is no doubt matching. 

“Guess that answered that hm?” Buck jokes.

Nodding, Eddie wraps his arms completely around Buck's waist to bring him flush against him.

“Yeah, I guess it did.”

They smile at each other and only look away when they hear the sound of clapping and cheering coming from the loft. 

“It’s about damn time!” Hen cheers while she’s doubled over in laughter, holding onto Chimney for support. Chimney and Bobby are clapping for them, along with the rest of the swing shift who are just along for the ride. 

Buck groans in embarrassment and drops his head onto Eddie’s shoulder in an attempt to hide his worsening blush from the rest of their team. Eddie laughs and hugs Buck even tighter while throwing a quick smile up to the others.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! Please let me know what you guys think!
> 
> -Annika


End file.
